A Wedding and a Proposal

I'm Yours. A photo from our wedding by Sandra Dans

Pipo and I just came from the lovely wedding of one of his good friends from college. Part of the program was a video sharing the story of Johann's proposal, which interspersed clips of the couple narrating their experience with actual footage of the fateful day. His proposal was grandiose, beautiful, and funny - with him renting a sky lounge, staging a musical, and proposing in between songs. I loved the part where Johann shared that even before he had popped the question, his then-girlfriend Tin had already figured out his plan and was openly crying beside him. At that time, he was gripping the ring in his fist. He was so nervous that he mistakenly opened his hand, thereby revealing the ring to her. Tin said yes, even before he could ask his question.

But he still wanted to ask her. He then professed his love and his intent to be her protector, her provider, her lover, and her husband, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry him. Within a nanosecond, she said yes again. And so their happily ever after began.

Their story made me think back to my own marriage proposal. It was without frills and fanfare, without dramatic timing or grand sweeping gestures, but full of a quiet sweetness and humor that I would not trade for any other moment or proposal in the world.

It was the holiday season and Pipo asked me out on a date, which would consist of dinner after my work. I had certain restaurants in mind, but as everyone was out on their holiday get-togethers, all of these were full. We ended up eating at a restaurant in Bonifacio High Street. 

After the meal, Pipo asked, "Where's a quiet place we can walk?"

I looked at him strangely. "This is Bonifacio High Street. There are places to walk ALL AROUND here," I said.

Pipo just smiled and agreed. I then asked if we could go to Fully Booked as I was looking for a new book to read. He agreed. Upon reaching the bookstore, I soon got lost - and happily so - in the bestsellers and new arrivals sections. When I realized that I had been wandering for quite some time, I looked up guiltily and caught the gaze of Pipo, who was a few meters away. I apologized for taking so long.

"It's okay. Take all the time you need." He said. I was shocked. This was a sentence that I had hardly ever heard from Mr. Impatiently -Tapping-My-Foot-Can-We-Go-In-Five-Minutes Lina. Ever. Realizing that this was a rare occasion, I took my time and carefully selected a book, which he bought for me.

I then suggested that we go to a cupcake place for dessert. I expected to buy just for myself, as he was not into sweets. I asked my routine, "Do you want anything?" and again to my surprise, he promptly answered yes. I bought him a cupcake, which he devoured in two bites. 

"Wow, you must've really liked that." I commented.

He shrugged. "Not really," he answered. I laughed. (He would tell me later on that he gulped down the cupcake because he was so nervous.)

After dessert, I asked him to drive me home since I was feeling tired and had an early day the next day. As soon as we entered my village, he then asked if we could go to a park we both loved because we had danced in the rain there many, many years ago. As I was already tired and sleepy, I asked him if we could take a raincheck. He insisted that we go.

"What has gotten into you? Why have you been nice and cheesy all night?" I asked.

"Can't I be cheesy with my girlfriend? Can't I be romantic?" He asked.

"Of course you can be. It's just that you've been cheesier than your normal cheesiness!" I retorted.

I finally conceded. We went to the park, but alas, there were plenty of people walking their pets or going on evening jogs. There were also a few household helpers unwinding after a day's work through whispered gossip sessions. After about thirty minutes, Pipo then agreed to take me home. He double parked the car by my building.

"Bye love," I said cheerfully as I made a move to open my door.

Pipo then took out a box and asked, "Love, will you marry me?"

I let go of the door handle. I was stunned. "What?" I said stupidly.

He opened the box. Inside I saw a sweet ring with a heart-shaped diamond. "Will you marry me?" He asked again simply.

Once I had gotten over my initial shock, I then proceeded to discuss - or better put - to rant about an issue that had been on mind for quite some time that I had wanted to iron out. After about thirty minutes of talking this through and coming up with a resolution, I still continued my rant, this time berating him for his lack of theatrics in his proposal. He wanted to marry a drama queen, for crying out loud, where was the DRAMA?

"Besides," I said irritatedly, "I'm not sure that this is the story I want to tell my grand kids someday. I mean, we just had dinner at (name of restaurant), and you asked me inside the CAR of all places and." I complained, swatting his arm, "You didn't even sing --"

"Oh, you want me to sing? I can sing for you," He said gently.

"But then, if you sing now, then it will always be in the back of my mind that it was MY idea, and that I had asked you to do it --" I complained.

"Ssh, let me sing for you, love." He said.

"Oh never mind! It won't be the same --" I said petulantly.

He held the nape of my neck. "Sssh. Just listen." He coaxed.

"But..." I spluttered.

"Please love, just listen." He pleaded.

I chose to listen. Thank God. He then opened his mouth and sang a song that he had written just for me, a song that made me catch my breath and made tears sting my eyes.

I felt awed, chastened, humble, and beloved. And above all it was clear, crystal clear, what my answer was going to be.

"Did you like it?" He asked.

"Yes." I said, my voice small.

"Will you please marry me? PLEASE?" He asked.

"Okay." I said, my voice still small.

He embraced me tightly, happily. By this time, we were both laughing and crying. 

He stopped for a moment. "Wait, is that a yes?" He asked, unsure.

"Yup." I said tearfully. (Apparently this drama queen was too overcome to do dramatics of her own.)

"Yup?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered quickly. "I mean, yes. Yes!"

We laughed again, hugged a little more, and cried a little more. I felt the inexplicable sweetness of surrending my life to the man I loved, of knowing that beginning that moment, we no longer belonged to ourselves, but to each other. And that night, in a simple, tender, and straightforward way, my happily ever after began.

And I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world :-)